I’ve spent the whole day watching Little House on the Prairie, eating delicious, somewhat stale cake and waiting around to see if anyone will call with a job offer. And dammit, I don’t feel guilty about any of it!

I went job hunting for the first time on Monday, but I’ll write more about that later. The only thing of note that happened today was that one of the little, hideous baby birdies fell out its nest. Stupid thing. I wanted to snap a picture or two, but that would have ventured into cold-hearted-bitch territory. I mean, I felt pretty compelled to put it back as soon as I saw it, and not find the camera. I put on gardening gloves first, thinking of that old wives’ tale about how you shouldn’t touch baby birds, and put it back in the nest (which really is getting very crowded with four growing birds. I don’t think it was very well-thought out). It’s hard to describe how fug these babies are – and I say that being extremely fond of them – they’re like a cross between a little dinosaur and a dead, ready-to-cook turkey at the supermarket. But the little beast looked really cute in my hand, probably because it’s so teeny. Things I can crush with my bare hands seem to soften my cold, dead heart (like kittens, or emo!boys).

A few hours later, another one had tumbled down (at least, I hope it was another one, or one of these little birdies is going to have brain damage). I went out to check on them because MamaBird was screeching (chirping? she makes a weird, lowish sort of groaning sound) up a storm. It appears that she has no way of getting the chicks back up the tree once they fall, which is stupid, and unfortunate, especially since she insists on attacking me every time I try to help.

Looking at the nest, I can see the problem is that it’s much too small – perhaps she didn’t anticipate four kiddies? – and, as self-appointed protector of all things BirdFamily, I’m wondering what to do about this. Maybe I shouldn’t do anything – maybe Mamabird’s shoving kids out on purpose, to make room for the others – but I kind of doubt that. I briefly considered replacing their nest with another, or a fake – a roomier one, obviously – but that would probably have some weird effect where she doesn’t recognize the babies as hers, or something. My mother wants to put something in the tree under the nest – some sort of platform so they won’t fall all the way to the ground. I’ll probably end up just put a towel on the ground under the tree – over the cement that’s there, ’cause, ouch. And yes, I’m probably spending too much time thinking about this.

Aside from that, Things I’ve Done That Are Unhealthy Today include: eating the vast majority of that cake I made the other day. Not to worry, though, it was all part of the plan – now that all the cake is gone, I can guiltlessly have a pudding cup or two while I watch Rock the Cradle tonight. Yes, I sometimes watch Rock the Cradle. Shut up.

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