I’ve been going through some old and not-so-old files. While trying to bring my inner creative writer back  to life last year, I had come across a writing prompt which directed me to write a letter to my ten year old self.

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“Hey, there. It’s me, future-you, but I’ll stop and let you take that in. You’ll accept in a second and then…we can continue.

 

I’m an adult now, and I know you’re impressed. I’m almost nineteen, so I’m an adult plus one, or something like that, and I know you’re going to start wondering soon why I talk not much better than you, so I’ll let you know now – I’m not answering that question. Or any, for that matter – no, just sit there and listen. Or read, I’m not sure how this works.

 

Because I’m not here to give you extraordinary insights into the future – no, it’s just the regular insights for you, kid. Let’s start, though I warn you it’ll be clichéd: don’t be afraid. Now, wait, I warned you. I’m just going to have to race ahead with this, aren’t I? Speak up, even though it feels you’re missing something everyone else has – it turns out everyone’s missing the same thing and you only get it by bluffing you have it. It’s a bit fucked up, but so are most things and that’s something else you should now – God’s a strange sort of guy; OK, overall, but you can’t expect perfection from anyone. You actually can’t expect much of anything from anyone, so for God’s sake try and keep that in mind, this time. I’m trying to give you an advantage, please.

 

Let’s cheer this up a bit. The only way you lose in life is if you die.

 

And don’t get so fucking angry. And write, and don’t hang on to some outdated (yes, I’m telling you it is) fucked up notion of modesty, because you can’t afford it. And draw a bit, because you weren’t half bad at it, or won’t be, and don’t worry about cursing because no one really cares. And talk how you write, and work hard, eat right. Hope for the best, plan for the worst. Don’t ignore clichés, though they’ll grate against your very nature. Being thin is a plus, not a bad, and curly hair can be cool, too.

 

Anything else and I’ll be clinging to the past a bit too unhealthily even for me, so I’m off. But for God’s sake, take in some of this, will you? This is me, speaking from an experienced vantage of sorts. Take advice, it’s dangerous, or will seem so, but just do it, for me?

Ok. Well this is getting a little weird, so I’ve really got to go. Good bye – take care – chin up and all the rest.”

 

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I kinda wish I had magically gotten such a letter when I was ten, but then I’ might be successful and well-adjusted, and I kind of like this weird space I’m in of “so…have I failed at life, or can I still get, like, a C-  ?“.  So, hurrah for figuring things out the hard way, or something (and, see? I told you I was really a cheese-lover, and it’s true).

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