Remember how, like, three days ago, I mused on my surprisingly calm and adult reaction to my tragic ipod loss? You can just disregard that entire post. I’m obviously going completely insane, and/or I’m simply a terrible and irresponsible person who doesn’t deserve to have control over things, period, own life included.

If you can strain a little and think back two seconds ago to when I offered my beautiful, blue, tiny, leather-encased ipod nano to every thief in the vicinity, you’ll recall a very postive, forward thinking attitude on my part. What’s done is done, I said. Things that suck happen in life. Unless you’re an idiot – then life just sucks in and of itself. The point is: I lost an ipod that I loved and cost about three hundred dollars. Then, at some point on Thursday, I lost a usb flash disk thingy which cost about fifteen. I am so much more devestated over the latter.

I spend all day feeling anxious, nauseous, and near tears. Why me, God? Well, probably because I kept it in my jean pocket all day. Remeber that pit of despair that was weirdly MIA on Monday during the ipod debacle? It was just hanging out a few days later here on Thursday, waiting for me to catch up.

I know that it’s more upsetting because I had so many – and I do mean so many – documents and things (including future posts, something I was trying to put together for youtube [not my thing, so it took me several weeks to get to where I was – about two minutes of footage]), stuff from when I was ten, my jounral that had seventy some-odd pages – well, I just hope that it’s lying in a garbage bag or gutter right now, and not taken by some asshole who’s now reading all my private things.

So right now I’mgoing back and forth from indulging in some pretty intense self-pity to seething self-hatred and guilt. It’s been a fun week.