OK, hopefully this format of blogging will work out.

As I type this (hopefully the night before I publish it! I am slow) it is day six of my super!fun baltimore adventure trip, wherein I hang out inside my sister’s stuffy apartment all day and help her move and clean and cook. Woot-woot. But really it is a lot of fun, because my life generally consists of hanging inside my house all day and being forced to clean (not so much cook, I guess, but that’s a negative because I really do like cooking! My mother just believes that I waste the food by ruining it, and she’s not wrongbut that means Tuesday is not much allowed in the kitchen back home). Since my sister is, I gather, rather accustomed to eating microwaved oatmeal and expensive coffee for breakfast, lunch and dinner she’ll take my macaroni and pre-packaged microwaved chicken and like it, though, which is nice.

Am currently chilling (not literally; summer has finally arrived in Baltimore and it’s hot enough that we can turn off the air conditioners and still sweat at night – this is a positive, in my opinion) at my sister’s boyfriend’s place, probably because it is much nicer than our own – larger and sort of almost high end looking, with its sleek floors and open kitchen and stainless steel appliances. I won’t say anymore about the apartment because a full description could easily swallow this entire post, but just trust it is awesome.

To discuss Y’s boyfriend a little – we will call him Z. – because he is probably going to be around a lot, he is a bit different from her usual aesthetic – very blond, very blue-eyed, very mature and together. I give him an A-. Excellent boyfriend material, possibly not as hot – very attractive certainly  but not, I don’t think, in that blood-boil-ooh-dangerous sort of way that really, really gets you hot. Which is, you know, probably what makes him excellent boyfriend material in the first place. He has, like, a stable job/personality and knows what’s going on with his life. It’s very strange and makes me feel rather young.

So, we’re at his place and the two of them are in his room being very, very quiet – ostensibly because they are studying so very studiously, but I can’t help but imagine they’re actually making out like mad, which is a little awkward for me but hey. Actually if I find they’re not making out like mad I’ll be a little concerned, like; why in the world not?? So you crept into his room and then watched him studied very quietly for real??? But enough about my sister making out with people, since I suppose that’s the sort of conversation that makes people uncomfortable.

Six days of Baltimore, passing by very slowly, I feel. Which is a good thing! Let me see if I can recount the trip:


I arrived in Baltimore after my boring airport experience that I managed to write an ridiculous amount about regardless. I thought we would be taking the train back to the city from the airport, but my sister and Z. showed up in his car to pick me up. Miles more convenient and inexpensive? Yes, but I couldn’t help being a little disappointed – I love trains, even commuter ones, because we don’t really have them back home (also on the list of realistically boring things I find exciting: subways, brick, porches).

Saw Y’s apartment for the first time: beyond cool, in a very strange way, because my sister has a very sort of hipster, northeast, artsy vibe and her roommate was a west coast vegan hippy. The decor was…confused, in a good way, although apparently neither of them had taken to cleaning the way you should if you can’t afford a maid, so it was a horrible mess. Enough so that our dialogue as we entered went something like,

Me: Oh wow! This is so awesome! This place is great!

Y: Really? I guess it’s okay. It’s just normal.

Me: No, it’s really cool! Oh, look hardwood floors. What’s that smell??

Y: Smell?

Me: Yeah, as soon as you come in. Is that laundry?

Y: I don’t smell anything

Me: It’s sort of horrible. Is that from the kitchen? What the fuck?

Y: Why does everyone who comes in say there’s a smell??

The smell turned out to be emanating from a mystery!substance in a bowl in the dishwasher, which was fully overflowing with dishes. After I tackled the kitchen – which I want to reiterate was disgusting – with a pair of yellow rubber gloves and a bottle of disinfectant the smell disappeared, and there was much rejoicing, mostly with a chinese delivery indulgence – fifteen dollars gone immediately! – but the food (fried rice, thankfully without an excessive amount of vegetables for once, bourbon chicken, these crabmeat pies for my sister and ridiculous chinese “donuts” (read: dough, rolled into balls, fried, and then haphazardly covered in sugar) ) was delicious, insane, we weren’t even able to talk we were inhaling that shit so desperately. I want to say we were watching part of a movie throughout, but I couldn’t tell you because my eyes were unable to leave my plate even once. Possibly we were also just hungry.

Then we stayed up until around 1 am watching internet clips of random trash. Nothing much got done the first day.